The News About The News

The news media has spent a lot of time discussing itself lately. Why has the Katie Couric-led CBS News floundered? Why has Brian Williams lost first place to Charles Gibson? It seems to me that the answers aren't that difficult, if the news anchors want to face them.

The Couric Factor

CBS News is floundering because people don't want their news from Katie Couric. It isn't that she's a woman, it's that she doesn't have an air of credibility. Watch her reports from the Today Show. Her opinions were clearly obvious, which is not appropriate for an anchor. Also, watch the Today Show 9/11 coverage. It becomes obvious early on that Couric is just a placeholder until Tom Brokaw can get to the studio. It isn't that she's a woman. Ann Curry, Connie Chung, and Elizabeth Vargas all have the credibility to be anchors. Couric simply doesn't have what it takes.

Why Williams Lost

The reason NBC News started losing its audience can be summed up in the events of one broadcast. Brian Williams told his viewers that NBC had received numerous e-mails telling them that they had focused on Hurricane Katrina too much and to move on to other stories. Despite these e-mails, Williams stated, NBC will continue its coverage of Katrina. If NBC and Brian Williams wanted to focus on Katrina, they shouldn't have brought up the e-mails. The message this sent to the audience was we hear what you're saying, but we don't care. That arrogance cost NBC its lead in the news.

All Terrorism All The Time

Iran has announced that it will launch a 24-hour English-language news channel to compete with CNN, MSNBC, and Fox. The 24-hour PRESS TV news channel said its goal was to "break the global media stranglehold of Western outlets," and "show the other side of the story" in the Mideast. Now terrorists will have a channel they can call their own.

Judge Loses Pants

Administrative Judge Roy L. Pearson found that, despite Charles Dickens thoughts, the law is not always an ass. Pearson sued a dry cleaner for $54 million over a lost pair of pants. Fortunately for the integrity of the court, he lost.

The judge today ruled that no reasonable person would interpret a "Satisfaction Guaranteed" sign the way he did. Not only is he not getting his $54 million, he is solely responsible for all court costs. The judge is going to consider whether he should also pay the dry cleaners' lawyer's fees.

The case is not completely over, though. While Pearson is expected to appeal, punitive action may be taken against him for bringing this frivolous lawsuit in the first place. He may lose his job and his law license. He should have just bought new pants.